A Strange Relationship

This one is an unusual relationship.

I knew him in about the beginning of 2013, when I was a new-broken hearted. In sorrow I was searching for someone to talk to. I mean, I can't keep talking with my room's wall, can I ?

An international chatting application was the place where we "met" for the first time. I was impressed. As a rising sun country people, his english was not bad. It really helps us to communicate. He was kind of a cheerful man, since he alwas add "(^_-)" in every end of the words he said. Lol. That was my first impression of him. This one is already "A Man", in age we separates like about 12 years something. That is quite big gap, remembering the last one was on my age.

At the first time, He was interesting for me because he came from the country that I always dreamed about. I didn't feel anything special on him. We talked about ordinary stuff, like "What did you eat last night?" and such. We often lost of topic, because The Man is not a talkactive person and also I am a bad topic maker. So, we don't have so much to talk. But we keep in touch for about 2/3 months.

Until suddenly my focus turned on a guy at my office. Which I called "The Sun" because his smile is the brightest smile I ever see ;). It became really rare to talk to The Man. The last thing we talked about was when I asked him if I can still talk with him when he got a girlfriend. And his answer was "It will depend on my companion". That time i thought I have nothing to hope in this man, because it seems like he will find a girlfriend soon in his country and then forget me. Then i stopped contact him and he did not contact me too. It was about 1 month long we were not talking to each other.

Then suddenly, one night he greeted me. And I was like "Oh! Hi! It's been a long time not to talk with you" and then we talked about some more ordinary stuffs (like always). I asked him where has he been all this time, I thought he already has a girlfriend and decided to stop contacting me. And the funny thing was that he thought the same thing. He thought that I was already have a boyfriend. Then... he said that he likes me. I thought he likes me bcoz as a foreigner I was kind to him. But then he said that I have a charm as a woman and he likes it. Well, it's quite a shock for me bcoz I never expected so. Then we continue talked about more stuff this time. Like now I know that he is a work-a-holic (Yep, like almost all of the raising sun country people. They looooove to work.) But our time was matched quite well. I work in a raising sun company too, so my work hours also like monster. When I done with my work, so was him. Then we have a nice time to talk after work. Whereas sometimes he sleep at his office, over time working ......................zzzzz....

I love how we say greetings when we done from work and how the other answers. It  feels like home, warm.

I love how he kindly spends sometimes to answer my very-silly-random questions altough he is super duper busy.

I love how he thanks me for giving him supports. (And really, the rising sun country people is loooooooooooove to say thank you! He said a lot. Lol.) But I love it, I feel appreciated. I feel like someone gave me two tumbs up for a simple thing that I did. It's sweet <3

I love his palms shape, it quite similar like mine. Well I never see it directly before, it was trough photograps that he sent me ;)

I love the way he says I am cute. When I'm just being me. Without trying so hard to change anything in order to be perfect for him. He said I am cute when I died my hair green, with pimples on my face. He said I am cute with my veils. He said I am cute when I showed him my poodle-like-hair. He even said I am cute when I told him that I have to wear glasses because my eyes starts to very hopeless lately. I love the ways he show that he likes me in every look that I be.

This is a strange relationship (if I may call it relationship). But I am happy. I feel warm. I feel like I have warm hands to come back in every end of a tiring day. And somehow I feel that he feels the same. I am not sure, honestly. But I believe in this tiny little sprout that I put a faith on.

Me, 9 June 2013.

On my mobile phone note.

When there's a person you've never meet could hurt your heart 

and then you start to think..... "Am I making all this up by my self?"

then you start to think "what kind of love is this? that built up from thoughts and virtual feelings?"

then you start to think "What a pathetic creature I am"

Love can not be defined by words or thoughts. You can not hear it or see it or even taste it. The only way to know it is by feel it deep in your heart. 

Then you start to realize "Ah... so there is where it coming from... all this ticklish things".

Me, 26 November 2013.

On my mobile phone note.

Hmmm... it's already more that one year I walk on this strange relationship. A quite long time for me because I never planned it will be like this before. The feel is growing bigger and bigger each day, especialy after I met him directly last May. Saw him in person, talked to him, laughed with him, touched his real-warm-skin. Realized that his eyes is really small, lol. His palms are really similar with mine. Really. That time when I spend a day full with him, my impression was "It's him. The Man that I talk to everyday for more than a year. Nothing's different. It is the same man. The same warm feelings. Feeling of home."

You know. if now you ask me where I will bring this strange relationship... honestly I don't know yet. It's getting harder lately. Things get more serious and we face a huge obstacle now. But somehow, I want to make things work. I don't want to quit this time. I want to fight. I don't want to quit this time. Wish me luck.