Hiatus

I'll stop writing for a couple of months maybe.

So many things are happening in my life. A good one, Alhamdulillah.
I am getting too excited and overwhelming by so many things.
One day I will tell you the stories, about a man that never been told before.
The one that come across the world to make his words come true.

I am on a beginning of a new chapter in my life.
It will be a story for a life time. Insyaallah.

See you around :)

About things in life

What I've learned in this-almost-28 years old

1. About job, not everybody gets privilege to work their dream job. It's okay, keep doing whatever you have now whole heartedly. Don't spend your days complaining about things that giving you a living. Work it out. Be grateful. Remember, there are so many people still looking for job out there, at least you have one.

2. About work mates, Help what you can help, don't make things hard for them.

3. About friend, keep just one or two people as your best friend. One of them should be your family member. Tell them anything that happens to you. Keep in touch with them in good or bad, far or near. You don't need a group of people to be your best friends. Look for the genuine ones.

4. About family, always keep your eyes, ears and heart open for them. Anywhere you are. Family stays in your heart.

5. About people in general, be nice to everybody, not fake. Fake people just tiring them selves. Don't be one of them.

6. About marriage, everybody has their own time. Patient. Enjoy the ride. Your time will come in the most beautiful way. God's way.

7. About love, love is not a fantasy. It's exist. Sometimes you just can't see it.

8. About self love, everybody is not perfect and it's okay. Love your self first then people will love you regardless.

I'll add more once I find another..

Berita duka di penghujung September

Jangan pernah, jangan pernah, menganggap remeh orang.

Gimana pun juga kita semua cuma makhluk. Semua sama dihadapan Tuhan. Hanya Iman yang membedakan.

Kemarin, massanger di kantor gue meninggal karena kecelakaan tunggal, motor yang dikendarai menabrak pohon di dekat gang rumahnya. Pak Memet namanya. Menurut kabar, beliau kemarin pulang setengah hari karena udah lembur berhari-hari akhir-akhir ini. 

Pak Memet yang setiap hari selalu gue tunggu, gue cariin. Karena beliau yang bawain invoice2 yang harus gw kerjain. Pagi gue dateng ke kantor, beliau pasti udah ada. Dan pas sore gue pulang, beliau juga masih ada. Seliweran anter dokumen ke sana ke mari dorong trolley berisi dokumen2 dari semua lantai.

Pak Memet yang tiap dateng selalu sapa gw dgn sapaan yang khas "Beb, ini Beb hari ini cuma dikit" Cuma beliau yang panggil gw Beb di hidup ini. Ah Pak Memet, nanti kalo gue kangen gimana nih.. Ya Allah, emang orang baik selalu pergi cepet ya.. :'(

Gue shock, nggak percaya, sedih ngedenger berita duka kemarin siang, umur orang emang nggak ada yang tau. Pak Memet ini baiiiiiik banget orangnya. Ceria terus. Nggak pernah gue liat dia ngeluh atau ogah2an kerjanya.

Selamat jalan Pak Memet, gue pasti akan kangen sama Bapak. Terimakasih sudah mengingatkan gue kalau semua orang itu sama. Seyogyanya, siapapun lo ketika lo bekerja, lo harus profesional.

Dan dilain sisi pelajaran yg gue dapet dari kejadian Pak Memet ini adalah, sekeras-kerasnya lo berusaha profesional dalam kerjaan lo, lo musti inget lo juga berhak untuk istirahat. Lo wajar merasakan capek. Lo berhak menolak pekerjaan ketika lo sudah merasa badan lo overlimit. Karena pada akhirnya, yang paling penting adalah rasa cinta lo ke diri lo sendiri.

Ingin rasanya menyalahkan pihak2 terkait yang katanya memberikan beban berlebih buat Pak Memet akhir2 ini, tapi ah... sudahlah... mungkin ini memang keputusan Pak Memet yang ingin total dengan tanggung jawab yang sudah diberikan. Entah kenapa gue selalu merasa kalau Pak Memet selalu ikhlas mengerjakan semuanya, termasuk ikhlas meninggalkan kami semua.
Lagi, selamat jalan Pak Memet, you'll be missed :'(

A girl that doesn't flirt

She prays to God to be able to fall in love again

To be able to feel all excited when she meet new people again.

To be able to "flirt" so she won't be judge as cold again.

There were times when she think about why she's not "flirty"

How's exactly to be flirty? Does she need to be flirty?

Is it why she often judge as cold hearted? because she's not flirty?

She keeps thinking why she doesn't like to flirt.

Since when she stop to be flirty? What makes her stop?

Or did she even used to be flirty back then? Maybe she didn't.

Or maybe she's tired, She's being skeptical, because it'll be useless.

She doesn't want to bet for another unsure relationship again. She's get sick of it.

Please, don't think bad about her. There are times when suddenly she love to be open and bubbly. It just getting less and less often.

She remembered a time in her past, 

There were her father's students came to their house. She got excited all of sudden. She was jumpy and giggly, looking for attention. Out of no where her mother side eyed her and said "What are you doing? You're such a flirt!". She stopped and stunned, "did I do something wrong? Was that a mistake being excited to meet new people?" she talked to her self. 

Did her childhood bad memories affect her unconsciously She became this cold right now?

Oh boy, Oh boy.

Gara-gara gitasav

Ehem. Jadi gini, di usia segini gw sepertinya terjebak dalam "peng-idola-an" terhadap seseorang nih. Nggak nyangka gw pun. Hahah, gw kira idola2an begini cuma berlaku buat anak2 sampai yaaa usia kuliahan lah. udah kerja mah udah ngga idola2an lagi. Tapi semua berubah ketika gitasav menyerang *lah

Jadi, suatu hari gw liat postingan IG siapaa gtu gw lupa, gambarnya gitasav. Trus gw mikir, lah dia mukanya bunder tapi ko pake jilbabnya berani amat ya nonjolin pipi sama keningnya begitu. Sedangkan gw selama ini sadar nggak sadar klo pake jilbab, nutupin separo aset (dibaca : pipi. Red) supaya keliatannya ngga bunder. Well, iya gw emang ngga sreg sama pipi gw yg lega, karena gw jd ngerasa constantly diingetin klo gw sekarang udah jd "gede-an" hahah. Padahal mah gw nggak gede juga, emang udah bawaan bunder sih mukanye ;p

Back to gitasav, dia pipinya di-tampak-kan begitu tp masih bisa keliatan it's oke ko dan tetep cakep (emang dasarnya cakep aja sih klo ini kayaknya) hahah. Trus akhirnya saat itu juga, gw langsung coba-coba jilbaban ala gitasav. Awkward awalnya, bunder luar biasa gue. Tapi entah kenapa gw puas banget! kayak udah ngga ada yg gw tutupin lagi aja gitu. Gue bunder, ya emang bunder. Ya udah, liat kan lo sekarang? semacem kayak gitu lah perasaannya. Hahaha. Trus abis itu liat dia pake kacamata bunder juga, yg kebetulan udah dr lama gw pengen banget, cuma kepentok teori bahwa muka bunder ngga jodoh sama kacamata bunder. Padahal teori dari mana juga gw ngga tau. Ih ko di dia bagus yaaaa... mulai kepo in dah tuh cem macemnya gitasav. Sampe akhirnya sekarang gw sedang dalam berkeinginan beli kacamata bunder juga. Ah semua ini memang gara2 gitasav <3

Gw liat vlog2nya, beropini nya, cool-yah nya, baca blog-nya juga. Setelah kebayang gimana personalitynya, gw suka sih. Ngga suka banget banget, but oke lah. Gw setuju sama bbrp pandangan dia, walau nggak semua. Dan yaudah gpp. Nggak mesti sampe sepaham banget gitu juga kan? Yang paling gw setuju sih soal body positivity, beropininya dia yg ini gw setuju semuanya. Dan bikin gw lebih menghargai lagi bentukan gw apa adanya. Gw sekarang mikirnya, oke bunder muka gue, terus kenapa? emang gini dr sananya kan, gitasav aja kece, apalagi gue dong *loh jd ngelunjak. Hahahaha XD yagitulah pokoknya... Btw thanks loh Git, sudah memberikan gw cara pandang baru terhadap diri gw sendiri. Keep doing you!

Nah! trus hari ini, gw nyangkut di postingan gitasav soal web ini nih, http://world.doubutsu-uranai.com/ semacem personality test gitu. Ya kali liat beginian gw ngga tertarik. Langsung cabs gw ngecek punya gw. Hahaha. Dan begini hasilnya,

Dan ini! sialnya 80% accurate. Dammit. Hahaha

Jadi ini yang sering terjadi

Gw pengen postingan2 gw lebih berfaedah deh... Lebih berilmu. Lebih bermanfaat...dibanding cuma was wes wos ngebahas diri gw doang. Pencitraan. Yaaa tapi kan ini blog gw dah knapa lu repot amat, Wik?? Yaaa buatlah diri lo lebih berguna buat orang lain gitu loooh, Wik maksud gueee. Iya sih ya. Sudah saatnya nggak narsis2 amat. Sudah saatnya ngobrolin soal bagaimana menyelamatkan dunia.. Yaaa nggak gitu juga sih, Wik. Ah gimana sih lo?? gajelas. Emang. Siapa coba yg daritadi ngomong sendiri sama otaknya? Eluuuuu Wik, Eluuuu. Dah ah udahan. Jangan sering2 lah Wik ngomong sendiri. Tiati loh, Srep! gitu ntar, ngga kerasa. Weuh, bahaya Wik. Iya udah lah tidur siang dulu aja yak. Mumpung jam istirahat masih panjang. Dadaah

Itu gw ngomong sendiri disaat orang2 tengah menyantap makan siangnya dengan lahap.

I am a fire, anyway.

Being a Sag is a total mess sometimes.

Yes gw perempuan, but energi gw terkadang kebanyakan. Terus suka gemes gitu kalo di-"yaudah kamu banyak istirahat yah"-in sama orang. Itu mungkin maksudnya care kali ya, tapi kalo tiap ngobrol bilang begitu mele kan keliatan banget kalo itu basa-basi. I mean, Emmmrrrghh! Hidup ini singkat coooy, lu mo istirahat sampe kapaaan?? Nggak masuk akal.

Kan gw emosi jadinya klo ketemu yg begini2. Ini apa emang dasar gw nya aja kecuekan atau bawaan dari posisi bintang dan planet pada saat gw lahir?? ngga tau lah gw, tapi buat yang "kemanisan" begitu sampe sekarang gw masih sering jengah sih. Mungkin gak papa kalo sedikit atau kadang2 atau kalo candaan doang atau ngga jangan dibahasain dah, lu pratekin aja mending kalau emang lo care. Bawain kek gw eskrim (pengennya. hha) atau apalah gitu. Jangan sepik doang sepiiik. Dah tau mah klo itu gw juga. Thank you very much for your attention but please stop, doing it, regularly, maybe you can cut it to like once a month, maybe?  Gw juga tau gw perlu istirahat. Tapi ya kadang emang badan ini rasanya masih sanggup jingkrak2 padahal udah lowbet banget juga. Nggak kebayang kan lo energi gw klo lg full ? Bisa beneran skydiving kali gw.

Kadang tuh ya, pengen juga gitu kalem, manis, adem, selayaknya cewek-cewek virgo. Trus kalo ada yg manggil, jawabnya "iya, kenapa?" sambil mata bersinar2, senyum halus tidak mengintimidasi. Gitu kan pengennya. Tapi mostly gw sering dikatain "Galak banget sih lo!" atau "Ya jangan marah2 lah ngomongnyaaa" Terus gue..... "siapeeeeeeeeeeeeee yang mara maraaaaaaaa???" dengan nada yg emang kayak orang marah2. Sigh. Tapi bener deh, most of the time bukan marah2 gue tuuh. Cuma terlalu bersemangat ajaa. Ini gw coba explain berkali2 juga tetep ada ae orang yg anggep gw merendahkan, atau men-tidak-manusia-kan orang. Ah. Lelah.

Kalo dulu waktu gw masih labil, iya, memang gw akuin gw sering banget marah2. Beneran marah2. Beneran sensitipan, gampang banget bad mood trus nggak mau ngomong. PMS-an banget lah anaknya pokoknya. Klo dipikir2 emang gw bikin takut sih, dulu. Susah describe gw juga. Pokonya hal2 "bikin kesel" yg gw sadar gw suka lakuin dulu, bikin gw sangat2 bersyukur buat orang2 yang dengan lapang dadanya sampe sekarang masih ada di hidup gw. Mereka2 ini the best best best deh pokoknya. Gw aja nggak tahan kali ngadepin gw zaman jahiliah dulu. MOODY PARAH. EMGH deh pokonya. Kesel sendiri gw juga.

Tapi sekarang, setelah gw dewasa (caileh gaya lu, baru juga anak kemaren) Energi2 negatif didiri gw udah mostly menguap sih. Believe it or not. Ya kalau gw yg bilang lo pasti ngga percaya sih ya. Klo gitu coba lah tanya orang2 best best best gw, masih pemarah nggak gw. Nggak sih kayaknya. I feel it my self too soalnya. Gw sekarang jauuuh lebih chill, kalo ada masalah lebih mikir panjang. Cumak ya itu, energi gw masih bergelora2, jd kayak orang marah2, padahal mah nggak juga. Emang menggebu2 aja anaknya. Jadi please banget, jangan baperan yah. Stress nanti lo kalo deket2 gw. Dan for the sake of the world sih gw ngga ada niat buat sengaja ngerubah diri gw jadi more calm atau more membubuhi gula2 dalam bertutur kata atau bersikap. Gw akan tetap seperti ini, because I am a Sag. That's my curse, once again. Udah ah, segini aja nge-blognya. Sampe ketemu minggu depan. Dadaah.

Bahagiakan dirimu sendiri

Karena kelak Tuhan tidak akan menyalahkan orang lain atas tidak bahagianya kamu. Ketika orang berbuat sesuatu yg menyakitimu, mungkin akan dicatat sebagai dosa-nya karena melakukan perbuatan tidak baik. Tapi apa kemudian jika kamu bersedih berlebihan tentang hal ini, lalu akan menambah dosanya dan mengurangi dosamu? Kurasa tidak. Tidak seperti itu cara kerjanya.

Iya aku tahu, hanya Tuhan yang yang berhak menghitung, mengadili. Tapi coba renungkan, berfikir sejenak. Ketidakbahagiaanmu bukanlah tanggung jawab orang lain. Benar-benar bukan. Itu tanggung jawabmu terhadap dirimu sendiri. Reaksimu terhadap sesuatu lah yang berpengaruh, yang penting dan satu2nya yang bisa kamu kendalikan. Maka kendalikanlah dirimu. Kendalikan kesedihanmu. Urusan dia yang menyakitimu, biarkan menjadi urusan dia dengan Tuhan. Maafkan saja, lalu tetaplah melangkah. Teruslah berusaha tumbuh menjadi orang yang lebih baik dari dirimu yang sebelumnya.

Kurasa semua orang harus paham akan konsep ini. Para orang tua, para anak, para dewasa, para remaja. Coba renungkan, dunia ini seperti saling berkaitan tapi sebenarnya bukan begitu. Ini lebih seperti saling berpapasan, saat berpapasan itulah maka bisa terjadi interaksi. Tapi tidak untuk selamanya, suatu saat, pada waktunya, akan kembali berpisah. Melanjutkan perjalanan masing-masing. Maka itulah tidak ada yg abadi. Maka itulah saat sedih, jangan berlebihan. Pun saat senang. Karena tidak ada yg abadi bukan? Semua akan berlalu. Nikmati saja... sedihnya, senangnya, tegangnya, leganya, takutnya, lucunya, semuanya nikmatilah,

karena akan datang saatnya berlalu.

Treat people the way you want to be treated

I dug my old notes on my phone and found this short thought. I don't know what was I thinkin back then but here it is..And oh! I'll try to post at least once a week. So please keep up with me!


I never really agree with this..

"Treat people the way you want to be treated"

Whose logic is that anyway? is that even a logical tho?

When you treat people the way you want to be treated, it means that you expect something in return, yes?
And eeeeverybody knows that expecting something from other people is the worst poison you could over your heart with.

So treating people the way you want be treated is getting even more absurd to me when I think about how if some particular people just simply don't want to be treated nicely? Idk maybe they just somehow masochist, love being in pain or whatnot.

Here, I over you something to think about, better than those absurd thought.

Never expect. Just do you.
Just treat people with you attitude, not theirs. No matter how bad they treat you. Just do you.
Show them "the good things" without you have to expect something in return.
They'll get it, someday, somehow.
If they don't, then they'll might get it from anybody else. Just walk away, leave it and keep do you.

Remember..
Your point of view about your self is the most important.

I'm back ?

It really feels good to be yourself.

Like.. to be really truly yourself. Without have to worried about what will people think about you. It really feels good to be content inside. You don't have to watch your back all the time. Everything feels a lot lighter to you. You just go with life, easily. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever will be, will be.
Just Let go what you can't control. And just do what you can control, which is your self, your thought, your mind, your behavior. Prove not to other people. But to you. Only you. Prove that you will always can be better than your yesterday self.

Am I an introvert? Oh yes Sir, I am.
Am I happy about it? Well, yeah mostly.
I still have my insecurities about the way I interact with people. I still, sometimes, hope that I can do better with "basa-basi" stuffs, rather than slamming people with some direct sh*t that I always do.
I still think that I'm weird and awkward in any social interactions.
And I'm still secretly hoping that someday I can greet people as easy as I greet stray cats that I met on the street.

But hey, It feels really good to be yourself.
To accept who you are. To just accept that you are not the same as your surroundings.
To know that you are not broken, but you just live differently. And it's okay.

I am grateful that I never even think about how to be "fit-in" where ever I go.
And hey, It feels really good to be yourself. It feels really good.

Bukan puisi ulang tahun

Kalau ditanya, "kenapa dulu suka sama dia?"
Gw pasti bingung deh jawabnya kenapa.. hmmm kenapa ya....?

Yang gw inget, dulu gw ngecengin cowo temen sekelas gw, tapi bukan dia.
Gw gak inget banyak soal dia waktu kelas 1 SMA..
Gw inget dia bikin lukisan Naruto waktu pelajaran seni rupa,
Gw inget dia pake tas warna oranye dan retsleting tasnya gede banget,
Gw inget dia pake cardigan warna krem pucet yang udah lusuh,
Gw inget dia kurus dan bahunya lebar sekali.
Gw inget tempat duduk kita beda barisan, gw duduk di bangku paling depan di barisan pertama deket sama pintu, dia duduk di barisan ke dua agak dibelakang.
Terus...hmm... gw gak inget lagi ;|

Waktu kelas 2 SMA yang gw inget
Kita pisah kelas, karena penjurusan IPA sama IPS
Kita sama2 IPA sih, tapi beda kelas
Oh iya kecengan gw waktu kelas 1 itu udah punya cewe akhirnya, trus gw patah hati (kayaknya), dan akhirnya udahan ngecenginnya.
Yang gw inget waktu kelas 2, gw sering mampir ke kelas dia setiap pagi sebelum bel masuk.
Alibinya gw nyamperin temen deket gw waktu itu (cewe), kita ngomongin club80s (lagi freak2nya sama Vincent Rompies <3)
Gw gak inget apakah waktu itu gw udah suka sama dia apa belum, tapi gw inget gw suka curi2 pandang ke bangkunya (kenapa ya... mungkin gw udah suka kali. gw gak inget)
Gw inget kita suka tuker2an gambar waktu itu, masih sama2 freak anime ;p
Gw inget kelas dia di pojokan sekolah, gelaaap banget
Gw inget seragam gw masih tetep gombor, padahal waktu itu lagi jaman2nya baju seragam cewe yan sengaja dijait ngepas bentuk badan. Apa sih namanya, di sekeng ya?
Gw inget selain baju seragam gw yang gombor, gw juga selalu pake daleman kaos lagi dibawah seragam gw (didikan PMR waktu SMP, yang mengharuskan gw pake kaos didalem seragam, masih kebawa2 sampe 2 SMA;})
Gw inget waktu itu gw nggak PD sama rambut gw yang gimbal. Waktu itu lagi jaman2nya bonding2an, dan Alhamdulillah sih sampe sekarang tren apapun itu nggak pernah keserep sm gw.
Gw masih tetep gimbal dan pake baju gombor.
Karna gw gak PD sama rambut gw, jadinya selalu gw iket atau gw cepol pake sumpitan.
Gw inget gw selalu ngerasa kayak debu yang mustahil keliatan sama orang. Ada atau nggak ada, nggak ngaruh. Nggak keliatan soalnya
Gw inget orang yang manggil gw dengan julukan cuma satu, guru olahraga. Gw gak inget namanya siapa, dia panggil gw "Bule"

Ah iya.. gw inget dulu ada semacem aplikasi di internet semacem ngitung2 kecocokan sama org yang disuka.
Dan itu (kayaknya) awal dari semua warna warni perasaan gw ke dia.

Jadi aplikasi itu cara kerjanya gini,
Lo tulis nama lo, trus lo tulis orang yang lo sukai.
Disitu ada nomor 1-3 (kalo gak salah) nanti pas klik submit, lo bisa tau kecocokan lo sama orang yg lo sukain.
Sialnya (atau mungkin untungnya) itu aplikasi ternyata nggak kayak gitu cara kerjanya!
Ternyata waktu lo masukin nama orang yang lo suka, pas lo submit, aplikasi itu somehow akan ngirim email ke orang yang lo tulis namanya disitu!! Sialan kan?!

Gw inget, gw dapet email karena dia masukin nama gw di No. 1 list orang yg dia mau tau kecocokannya.
Gw inget waktu itu bulan puasa dan sekolah libur hampir 1 bulan, Gw inget gw kegirangan segirang girangnya waktu dapet email itu.
Gw inget dari semenjak itu sampai hari masuk sekolah buat salam2an idul fitri, gw dag dig dug gak karuan klo inget bentar lagi ketemu dia disekolah.
Rasanya kaya orang bego ya waktu itu :")
Gw inget pas akhirnya kita ketemu di lapangan sekolah buat salam2an, gw berkali2 ngeliat ke belakang antrian murid, nyari tau dia udah sampe mana.
Gw inget matanya yang berbinar binar (lebay!! hahaha tapi beeneeer kooo XD) waktu kita salaman.
Rasanya ko dulu norak banget ya, apa deh Wik ah.. <3

Terus kita naik kelas 3, Gw inget kita suka chat pake mIRC
Jaman geela waktu dulu chattingan pake mIRC dan nick name gw adalah Uwie_N_Joey (Iyuwh.)
Hahaha karena gw lagi demen banget sama si Irwansyah di AnTV dan peran dia disitu namanya Joey, gw inget banget dulu dia perannya jadi kakaknya Sisi Pricilia gitu (Sumpah norak banget gw. LOL)
Gw inget banget, pernah sekali waktu kita lagi chattingan di mIRC trus koneksi gw putus, ternyata dia chat juga sama tetangga gw yang seumuran
dan tetangga gw bilang dia nyariin gw pas koneksi internet gw putus. Tetangga gw copy chat-an dia sama tetangga gw ini dan dia nanyanya gini
"Uwiku mana?"
Gituuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! ya awloh gw kegirangannya udah gak ngerti kaya apa, karena begitu doang!! HAHAHAHAHAHA gila kali!!
karna gw dapet laporan dr temen gw soal uwiku mana itu, gw langsung ngibrit ke warnet pake motor demi melanjutkan chat gw sama dia, yang berujung dia udah offline dan nggak bisa lanjut chatnya (geez)

Setelah itu gw inget kita jadi sering senyam senyuman klo ketemu di sekolah
Dan gw inget waktu itu liburan semester 1 kelas 3 SMA, gw liat status dia di Friendster (Iya! masih jamannya Friendster waktu itu!! XD)
statusnya gini "Honey so sweet"
Terus gw yang ngeliat itu langsung jeles nggak jelas gitu, karena di kelas dia ada cewe namanya Hani, dan gw langsung berkesimpulan bahwa itu statusnya buat Hani Hani ini.
Dan gw patah hati (ceritanya), gw ngambek. Gw ngambek di friendster, bilanglah klo Hosokawa (semacem panggilan gw dan dia waktu itu, entah dapet darimana) udahan.
Macem bilang kita putus aje, padahal jadian aja belom (Asyalalalala ;p)

Gw patah hati tuh waktu itu, nangis2 jelek.
Terus tiba2 hari itu juga apa besokannya gitu, ada SMS ke nomor HP Mama (Oke gw belum punya HP waktu itu 3 SMA. Tsk)
Ternyata dia yg SMS, dia bilang dia nanyain nomor HP gw ke temen cewek kelasnya dia, dan waktu itu yg beredar di pertemanan ya itu nomor HP Mama. ahaha...
Dia minta maaf bikin gw sedih, dia bilang Honey itu bukan temen kelasnya tapi gw,
AHAHAHAHAHA ini aselik sih cinta cintaan anak ABG banget. LOL
dan gw yang ternyata salah paham, jadi malu2 gitu (jijay)
Dan akhirnya kita jadi SMSan, Gw pake HP Mama dan dia pake HP tetehnya (Oh Man, kita memang duo sejoli yang masih bobrok miskin semiskin miskinnya)
Gw inget dia ajakin gw jadi datenya dia waktu anak2 geng ekskul ngadain multiple date
Gw inget dia kebingungan nyariin rumah gw pake motor astranya yang warna merah (dia baru punya motor kalo gak salah waktu itu)
Gw inget hari itu dia pake kaos kaki belang warna warni
Gw inget gw berusaha dandan (well bukan dandan yang pake eyeliner, blush on dan lipstick yang gimana gitu jugak sih. Ya bedakan dan rapi2 lah) berjam2 sebelum dia dateng jemput.
Gw inget punggungnya yang bungkuk dan lebar keliatan kikuk waktu gw nyamperin dia ke motornya.
dan gw inget malemnya dia nembak gw lewat telepon (psyuuuuuuu~ <3)
Dan kita Jadian, Gw inget waktu itu malem2 tanggal 4 Januari 2007.

Gw inget temen2 disekolah heboh banget pas tau kita jadian.
Gw inget dia bikin stancil muka gw trus dia pilox di mana2 (dikamar mandi cowo dan di tempat wudhu, seinget gw)
Gw inget kita colek2an klo papasan disekolah karena belum ngerti orang pacaran itu harus gimana.
gw inget dia pernah bawa gitar ke depan kelas gw abis jam olah raga trus dia gitarin lagu evergreen-nya Hyde.
Gw inget dulu kita naek motor masing2 (Hahaha, pacaran macam apa XD)
Gw inget tali sepatunya yang dia bentuk jadi nama gw "LUV UWW" (Dia norak, gw suka ;})
yang ternyata udah dari lama dia buat dan gw nggak ngeh (Ya mana gw perhatiin tali sepatu orang sampe segitunya kan ;P)
Gw inget waktu itu awkward banget.
Gw inget dia nelepon gw malem2 pake telepon koin di depan kompleks rumahnya, karena kadang HP tetehnya nggak bisa dia pinjem, dan gw manja pengen diteleponin (Ah. Anak muda memang)
Gw inget dia selalu dibawain bekel sama mamanya, nasi sama kentang.
Gw inget dia bilang dia nggak suka terong.
Gw inget waktu masih 7 bulan kita hampir mau putus dan kita nangis2an di pinggir lapangan terbang disamping sekolah.
Gw inget dia ngajarin gw gambar suasana supaya gw bisa lolos masuk tes ke FSRD ITB yang ujung2nya gw nggak lolos dan dia lolos.
Gw inget gw bikinin dia Syal yang selalu dia pake kemana2 walaupun syalnya cacat karna itu baru pertama kali gw buat syal rajutan.
Gw inget sosok dia dengan syal merah dan motor astra merah dan helm batok putihnya.
Gw inget baunya dulu, bau debu gw bilang..
Ah kangen deh gw.. :")

Selamat Ulang Tahun loh kamu ;)
Btw, kapan pulang?

Mama dan cinta

Mama gw ini lucu ya..
Dulu seinget gw, gw selalu diwanti2 jangan main kemaleman.
Ada acara kumpul ini kumpul itu, gw nggak dibolehin ikut
Selalu ditanya pulang jam berapa?
Lagi Dimana?
Ngapain?
Dan lain lain..
yang menurut gw, sampai saat ini, yang kaya2 gitu yg bikin gw jd super introvert begini.
And when I mean super, it is SUPER.

Gw nggak nyaman sama orang yg kumpul2.
Gw lebih suka sendirian, sama buku2, sama binatang2, sama handphone gw.
Gw menjadi pribadi yg sangat tertutup. Sangat!

Dulu sempet gw nyalahin keadaan, nyalahin Mama lebih tepatnya.
Gw anggap ini semua karna Mama selalu bilang "Nggak!" "Nggak boleh!!"
dan gw nggak ngerti kenapa gw selalu iya iya aja.

I've grown up being an introvert who talks with books and animals and plants and mirror.
I've grown up talking to my self most of the time.

Sampai pada saatnya gw ketemu cinta..
Gw berubah.. hidup gw lebih berwarna..
Gw lebih produktif.. gw lebih kreatif..
Dan tentu saja gw lebih bahagia..

Dulu diawal gw menginjakan kaki di ibu kota, selepas lulus kuliah..
Setiap pulang ke Bandung, gw ngeduluin untuk ketemu dengan cinta gw waku itu
Karna gw rindu.. kita LDRan..
Tapi Mama nggak suka, dia bilang gw mentingin org lain..
Mama bikin gw ngerasa bersalah dan bingung.

Emang punya cinta selain keluarga itu salah?

"Hey Ma.. Uwi bahagia Ma.. Apa mama nggak liat?
Apa klo Uwi bahagia bukan dengan keluarga, lalu artinya Uwi jahat? Uwi salah?"

Padahal gw sudah cukup dewasa waktu itu, gw bisa putusin apa yg mau gw lakuin
Udah nggak mesti bilang Mama lagi kan?
dan gw nggak ngerti kenapa gw nggak pernah bisa punya pendirian waktu itu..

Dan sekarang Mama lucu..
Saat cinta 6 tahun itu berakhir, dan gw kembali ke diri gw yg super tertup itu
Mama dorong2 gw buat cari cinta baru..

Barusan Mama tanya,
"Besok libur kemana?"
"Cari pacar ah..." (guyon)
"Asiiik yang bagus yah!!"
"Cari di mana yah? di indomaret ada nggak ya?"

Mama lucu ya..

Well, personally I'm not really thinking about love anymore.
Mungkin gw lelah... Cinta 6 taun kmaren aja, gw baru bisa bilang dengan penuh percaya diri
bahwa gw udah move on, hampir 3 tahun (*meh)
Iya, emang ada dengan si ini dengan si itu, tapi jiwanya masih disana..
masih di cinta 6 tahun itu..Sekarang sih udah nggak.. nggak yakin maksudnya..Sudahlah.

Gini Ma.. Uwi capek..
Uwi sudah memutuskan bahwa uwi akan menganggap uwi akan mati tahun ini..
Jadi uwi mau jalanin hidup suka2 uwi..
Uwi udah nggak nyalahin Mama lagi ko, Uwi udah ikhlas..
Toh pada akhirnya, klo Uwi lg sedih uwi nyarinya Mama lagi Mama lagi kan
Karna Uwi tau Mama akan selalu ada disana, mendoakan Uwi..
Makasih ya ma, buat semuanya..
Mulai sekarang, uwi mau hidup suka2 uwi.
Dan uwi percaya Mama bisa ngerti. Iya kan Ma?
I love you, Ma. No matter what.

I have a feeling that somehow we will come back together.

And that feeling is hella strong.

Please, prove me that I am wrong.

PS : for you, you know who you are.

On the bus today

Met an old acquintance on the bus to Bandung today.

She makes me realize that life could be very interesting, fun and crazy at the same time. You just need to be more creative in creating the plans about how you want your life's be. And dearly make it happen with a bit of craziness, kick the social norms that are on your way to your goals. Just do it. Some crazy friends will be a great help. Just don't think too much. There is no rules in this world as long as you are not disturbing others or making any damage to the environment.
Every people has their own way, you dont have to be the same. Be different! Create your own story. Color it with your colors pour it with your scents. Make the best of it. Your masterpiece. Good luck <3

Thank you unlimitedly

God always being nice to me :)
You know that I was struggling with my hyperthyroidism in the beginning of this year. There were lump on my neck as big as a half of an egg. My heart jumped as it would come out from my mouth every 5 minutes in a day. And I remember about the terrible hair loss that time. And today as I looked up in the mirror this morning, the lump is almost gone. I am hardly feel it again now when I touch my neck. My heart beat is never bother me anymore and my hair is better now. How wonderful is that :)

God always being nice to me :)
I were always feel that I am in a hard-to-move-on zone for years even until last month. But soon God gave me something that makes me even more happy as I got off from that zone. God gives me something that makes me smile everyday. How sweet :)

For everything that ever happened to me, that makes me the way I am now. I really feel that God always being so nice to me.
I thank You unlimitedly.

My Acne Police Toner

My Acne Police! It has superb amazing healing effect. Altough the smell is still killing my nose and eyes until now.. *bzzbzz* But it's really kill zit in one night! Make the "zit-wanna-be" gone, the "zit-zit" can pop up super fast!

Ingredients you need are all from your kitchen :

1. Empty carry-on bottle, better made from glass.
2. Fill half of it with Apple Cider Vinegar. For the beginner if ur skin is sensitive, try using 1 : 2. 1 part of AVC and 2 part of water.
3. Fill the rest with clean water, I usually buy Evi*n mineral water. Or you can buy any other brand, I don't recommend Aq*a or Nest*e or R*n88 or any other brand in those price range. Since it said still has some non-friendly-for-skin metal in it.
4. Mix it well~

And tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! You get your very own miracle toner :D
It Has been my best friend for more than 5 months. And I never think to get another night toner, no more.

Some tips and warning :
- Use it only as your NIGHT toner, after you wash clean your face. AVC will be bad with direct sunlight, so don't use it while the sun is shining! You may irritate ur skin or worst get burned *gasp*

-You can compress it directly to the zit for fast healing. Put the mixture on a cotton pad and sit it on ur problem area for about 5 minutes. Then go to sleep.

- Since I am currently using my Shiseid* toner in the morning, I stopped my rose water toner for a while now. Rose water is ahmoizing too! It sooth and give that pretty glow to ur skin ;) Find one who has no alcohol in it. I recently browsing some natural rose water in To*opedia, and they over a lot of promising brand :)

- I usually use the He*nz brand for my AVC, it works well on me. I want to try that Br*gg brand whose claimed has "the mother" in it. Hmmmm ;) after this one run out baby, after this one run out.

AVC is not only help your acnes, but also shrink-in those pores and give you face a nice glow X)
A bottle of AVC usually comes in huge size, but don't worry! There will be nothing to waste. You can pour it on ur salad, you can make it as a desinfectant, or you can use it as a conditioner if you want to go no-poo for your hair. So many useful DIY thing you can make with this, how wonderful eh :D

 That's it! Have a good day!

I found it

It is TIME that I don't have.

It is TIME that I didn't give enough.

It is TIME that I wasted being unhappy.

It is TIME that I wasted being grumpy.

It is TIME in so many places that you were curious about but I didn't give a chance to try.

It is TIME that make you go away.

It is TIME that make you turned to her.

It is TIME that make me lose.

It is TIME..

TIME will heal all wounds.
TIME will give answers.
And it also TIME that will make you come back.

I am sure.

Goals today

Sometimes I wonder why people be like,
when seeing some celebrities sexy body
"Body goals!!!"
when seeing a cute romantic couple "Relationship goals!!!!"
when seeing a muscular handsome man "Boyfriend goals!!!!!!!"
when seeing a muscular handsome man holding his girl's hand "Life goals!!!!!!!!!!"
Like everything the others do is DA GOALS.

So, why people? why?? *geez*

The wonder makes me think, so that's why God forbids idolizing.
It will keep you away from the true meaning of life it self.
That is to be grateful.
The most majestic way to happiness, inside and out.

Sentiment or what you called Romance

I saw a "used to be" couple,
they were argued about something personal in social media.
They threw all of the trashes they kept all this time, inside out.
Spread the bad smell everywhere.
No one was win in that match.
No one was happy. Even me as the outsider.

That's so sad.

Soulmate is really a mystery.
People come and go. Some stay some never.
Today we love each other so much.
And tomorrow we hate each other so much.

You know what?
If you are not mean to be with me.
I hope we will never argue to death like that.
If there will come the time that we have something to argue about.
I hope it will only between us.

"And no body needs to know" - that's what Summer Sunshine said.

For me, to be out of your life is better than to be in your life but being your enemy.
And somehow, I know that you will do the same. Don't you?

It's a fiction

Her story

You got very drunk. She was there drunk with you in front of you. You f*cked her that night. When you woke up in the morning, when the ethanol was not there anymore. You found her whining for your love. You are not ready for it. After years suffering from heart broken, you still not ready. But you took her for granted that night. And now she wants you.

Your story

Your eyes were wondering, your mind was somewhere not there. Not on the pool where you spent your day with her, You feel blue, like you always choose to do. You called it masochist, but this time it's not hurt that you feel, worse than that, it's emptiness. 

My story

I was stunned, "What the heck are you doing??"

The End

A Good Time

And then came the stage where there is no more heart throbing...

Just a nice and calm vibes all over the body.
 

I thought there will never come a time where we just laying near each other, reading books.

 

With sounds from an old fan roaring in the room.
 

We said nothin'

 

We just read our books until we fell asleep...

 

next to each other.

 

Yes, I have a good time too.

 

Old friend.